A lot of people feel uneasy and uncomfortable around silence including myself. But, I have to admit not always. Today was one of those times where I actually enjoyed it. I was listening to a Barcelona radio show hosted by Philippe Bartu where he talks to his partner Juan Jose Quesada and I loved it very much. During the show, both of them, the host and the guest, went completely silent for a sec or two and apparently in the world of radio, it’s not considered very nice to go quiet. They call it dead time. During this period of absolute silence, I felt very peaceful and happy on a deep level. The kind of happiness where you feel you have everything and don’t need anything in the world. You are just happy with this pure feeling for no reason. I have also felt that kind of happiness in a one day retreat where there were about 50 people and the whole day was spent in silence without saying a word to anybody.
On the other hand, there have been times when I’ve been in a party or a small family gathering where no one talks to you for whatever reasons. At those times, I’ve felt bored, not enjoyed at all and felt quite uneasy. At those times, I thought and still sometimes think that it’s the people in the party or family get-together making me feel like that. But in reality, there’s more to the story than meets the eye. Any of my feelings like boredom, uneasiness or whatever has nothing to do with the people not talking to me. It’s to do with my thinking. Whatever I’m thinking in the moment, that’s how I’m feeling just like what Dicken Bettinger said in Philippe Bartu’s show, ‘If you have happy thoughts, you feel happy and if you have sad thoughts, you feel sad.’
If that’s true which according to me it is than it means you can be happy no matter what. You can attend any parties or get-togethers and still have a wonderful time even if nobody talks to you. It’s that simple. Some of you may not agree with me. It doesn’t matter, I’m just requesting you to sit with it and see it for yourself. Test it and don’t just agree or disagree with me. The next time, you attend any party see what happens. How do you feel when no one chats with you? Does your feeling change or remain the same without anything changing on the outside? Do you always feel a certain way when no one talks to you? or it changes depending on your thoughts in the moment.
As Michael Neills says ‘Happy Exploring!’ and please share your comments or ask any questions regarding this article.
Take care and have a lovely week!