I want to make it very clear right from the beginning. Yes, I’m a novice. A new company. Still in its infancy stage. Now some of you might even say what does he know about business, he’s just a little baby who’s only 4 months old out of his mommy’s womb. And yes. I totally agree with you. I don’t know much about business, how to run it, manage it etc. etc. You know your business much better than I do. However, there are 3 facts, I would like to share that has helped me and continues to serve me in my business.
We all think
So how has this fact helped me or continues to serve me. It’s been 4 months since I’ve started this business and every now and then I’m plagued by these thoughts. So what are they?
I’m not good enough.
I’m not good at business.
I’m not as smart or intelligent as others.
Others are better than me.
I’m not ambitious.
There’s no way am I going to succeed in this business.
I’ve started a few businesses in the past and I’ve always failed.
I’m contacting people to offer free services but no one seems to be interested. I told you! This business is not going to work!
I have no experience in coaching. Why would people want to work with me? What do I have to offer?
I’m Indian. People would rather work with someone who’s White or Caucasian.
I’m that educated. I don’t have a degree.
Will I be able to make enough money to sustain myself?
I’m afraid if I don’t make enough money, I will have to go back to that old stinking job! I don’t want to!
All these thoughts and probably many more.
You may have had similar thoughts like that. So what happens when we all have these limiting thoughts? We think it’s real. It’s important. It’s telling us something about our business that it’s not going to work. It’s going to fail for sure. And that’s not true. When you have such thoughts or feelings of failure or despair, it’s only telling you about one thing and that is you are having insecured thoughts and feelings and nothing about your business. These are your thoughts and feelings. That’s it. Nothing more. Nothing less. They are not facts about your business. Like how my coach Jamie Smart says, “The fuel gauge only tells you about how much fuel you have in the car”. It doesn’t tell you about your looks, your future, whether you will be successful or not. Who knows what will happen to my future? Yes, I may succeed and make a lot of money or fail and go out of business but this has nothing to do with my thoughts in the head or my feelings. Remember they are just thoughts telling me about my thoughts and nothing else. It’s not telling me about my business or future or how much money am I going to make? Yes, it looks real. Just like the movies. When you watch Jurassic World, the dinosaurs look real. But are there really dinosaurs? Come on, you know better than that. Have you ever seen one around the corner or in your neighbourhood? It’s just special effects. These thoughts of doom and gloom too, when taken seriously look real to us, but in actual fact, are just some sort of special effects projected onto the screen. And when we walk towards the screen to touch the dinos, there are no dinos. Just pixels on the screen.
Many people take their limiting thoughts seriously (including myself) and get cold feet and quit too soon and become runaway brides just like Julia Roberts in the movie ‘Runaway Bride’ who would take her thoughts of nervousness about marriage very seriously and as a result would leave the men waiting for her at the altar. Next time, you have such limiting thoughts instead of putting on those sneakers and heading for the exit. Just relax and do what needs to be done. If you need to call a prospect, call the prospect. If you need to write a proposal, then do that. That’s it. I’m not saying don’t quit. Do what your wisdom tells you. By the way, we will touch more on wisdom later. For now let’s head to the second fact.
Thoughts keep changing
Thoughts are not permanent. They come and go. And whatever thoughts you have, you will have corresponding feelings. If you have happy thoughts, you will feel happy and if you have sad thoughts you will feel sad. And this is good. Why? Because if you’ve felt sad or dejected, you don’t need to worry or take it seriously because it will change by itself. That’s how our psychological system works. Don’t believe me? Try it out. The next time you have any such limiting thoughts and don’t do anything about it, it will change. When? I’m not sure. Maybe 5 seconds or 5 hours. Who knows? But one thing I can guarantee it will change like the weather.
So what do I do when I have such limiting thoughts, if I can see it in the moment and not take it seriously and just go about my business. If I need to write, I write. If I have to call, I call. That’s it. Many times I’ve called people up to tell them about my new venture and I’ve been dead scared as if they were going to kill me for contacting them. But I do it anyways and not take my thoughts seriously and the feeling changes. Sometimes it changes when I’m dialing the numbers, sometimes in the middle of a conversation, sometimes at the end of a phone call. And once again I’m back to feeling better. Just like I mentioned above, you don’t need to head for the exit door once you have such limiting thoughts because they are transient in nature. They don’t last forever.
Now, what would have happened if I took my thoughts seriously? I would have just sat like a zombie on my sofa and done nothing. But instead, I’ve been taking some sort of actions, one of which is calling people up which eventually led to some pretty amazing conversations where I learnt more about my friends’ lives. In fact, I was surprised with what actually happened which was totally different from what I had imagined. I presumed none of these guys would be interested in even talking to me but I was totally wrong. One of them, was super excited just hearing my voice. And mind you I haven’t spoken to this person for the last 6 years. Another one, who’s quite smart and intellectual, actually heard some of the audios I suggested and was willing to meet up again to borrow a book on relationship. And the third one was my ex-colleague, who I thought, would be least interested in what I had to say. In fact, she had a great time, found the conversation very inspiring and actually made up with her boyfriend on whatsapp in the middle of our chat. Isn’t that amazing?
All this wouldn’t have happened, had I taken my thoughts very seriously. Now let’s go to our next fact.
We all have wisdom
Some think, wisdom only comes with experience or to those enlightened ones like the nuns and monks or my grandma or grandpa. Wisdom? Me? Never! Not possible! Then you are dead wrong. Sorry for being so blunt. Don’t mean to be egoistic. But really all of us have it. We are prepacked with it the minute we land on this planet earth. All of us whether we are males, females or even people with mental or physical disabilities have innate wisdom. In fact, we are made of wisdom. After all (as in Genesis 1:27) we are all made in the image of God and people may not like this term ‘God’ which I’m not really sure why. When I say ‘God' I mean all the good things that come with that like natural happiness, natural kindness, natural compassion, natural resilience, natural creativity, natural playfulness, natural peace etc. etc. Each one of us out there are all this and much more than we think. Yes, all the 7 billion people on this planet.
So when you have wisdom on your side what’s there to worry about. The next time, you get stuck, wait for your head to clear and you will see wisdom pop out. Remember I said thought is not permanent, it’s temporary and keeps changing. Once your head is cleared, you have ideas, inspirations guiding you. You have the inborn resilience to bounce back. You don’t need high EQ. In fact, you are full of high EQ. When you are God, you have all the ingredients God has. Period. You are much more powerful than all the superheroes put together in Avengers. How about that?
So wisdom guides you throughout in your life and business like the GPS. It tells you what to do. Like today wisdom guided me to write this article. And I wrote it. Now I don’t know whether people will resonate, connect and call. Maybe they will and maybe not. So what? That’s life. It doesn’t mean if people don’t call or nothing happens means I lose my wisdom. No, it’s always there, intact, in one piece, can’t be smuggled or robbed. Available 24 hours a day, 7 days a week for FREE. You don’t need to pay or bribe to get it going. It’s there within you the minute you were born. Period. Sometimes, however, we can’t hear it because of too much static caused by our negative thoughts.
So how’s wisdom helping me? Well, when I’m down with limiting thoughts like I won’t succeed or whatever, I don’t take it seriously, leave it alone and wait and then a happy or inspired thought comes along. I feel good, when I am happy and relaxed. I get ideas and inspirations that tell me what to do next. Even if you weren’t aware of this fact, I’m sure you know it or have experienced something like this in your life before. Now reflect. When you had a huge problem or an obstacle to overcome in life or business, did you come up with a solution by thinking too hard or overthinking about the problem? Or did the solution come to you easily when you were not paying any attention? Maybe the solution just surfaced out of nowhere in the middle of enjoying a can of beer at the beach or watching your favourite show on Netflix or while taking a shower.
So this is how wisdom takes care of me and my business. When I am stuck or not feeling good about a situation or feel like quitting, I just wait it out. Let those thoughts pass and something always shows up on the horizon. And this has happened to me so many times that I’m slowly and gradually starting to relax more and more in the face of problems. I remember when I was setting up my website, I had a lot of difficulties. I didn’t know how to upload my audios, how to design the pages, what to write on my “Welcome” or “About” page, or how to approach prospects but since the past 4 months I have done a lot of things I didn’t know how to do and just learnt on the way and mind you I am still learning.
Hope this article has been helpful. Next time, if you are down and feel like quitting. I would suggest you to take a pause and just do what you need to do. Of course, I’m in no way suggesting to quit or continue. That’s not my job. You are much smarter than that. You have the wisdom to guide you and do what feels right. My job here is only to point you to the truth. We all think, thoughts are transient and impermanent and we are all endowed with wisdom. As and as we start to understand more and more (not intellectually), we will see the same things very differently just like how I’m starting to see there are more and more opportunities everywhere for my coaching services even though nothing has happened yet. Once people understand what I’m talking about, magical things can start to happen. People can do things they never thought they could do previously regardless of their miserable past. Basically, my job is not to give or add any extra powers because the power already lies within you. My job is to unleash that power and from there wonderful things can start to happen in your life. Things that even you didn’t imagine. This is not some black magic or voodoo, it’s for real. A lot of people who’ve come across this understanding, their lives have changed and my life has changed and is still changing for the better. My relationship with my wife has improved, I’m doing stuff like writing, making cold calls, contacting organizations to let them know about my services. I have also done this previously but this time the feeling is different. Even though nothing has yet happened and I do feel down at times and that will happen because we are humans, we think. We can’t control what goes on in our heads but I know I will be okay no matter what. So I’m just enjoying the ride by doing whatever I need to do. After this article, I’ll be doing other exciting things like writing my profile, emailing it to various universities and organizations, learn LinkedIn and many more things in the near future. Just enjoy, learn and experience the ride. Isn’t that cool?
Just imagine by following your heart and taking inspired action, what kind of impact it could have on your business bottomline?
If you would like to share your thoughts on this article or would like to know more about what I am up to, just send an email at email@example.com or visit my website www.hopenwisdom.com. By the way, if there’s anything you or someone you know is stuck with and need a little nudge, please feel free to contact me and I will be more than happy to have a conversation (for free) and suggest some resources that might help.
Take care and have a lovely weekend!