After few years of our birth on planet Earth, people around us start to say ‘Be Confident!’
Your parents say ‘Be confident!’
Your teachers say ‘Be confident!’
Your friends, your colleagues, your boss, basically everyone around you tells you to be confident and it is good to be confident.
Confidence has its benefits no doubt. It can help us with many things.
If you are a student you can do well in exams, presentations etc.
If you are a sales person you could probably sell more.
Overall, it makes you feel good, enjoy life and do well in business. Because of that so many Self-esteem and confidence programs have mushroomed in recent years. Even on google search, a whopping 896 million results popped up by just typing out ‘Self-confidence’.
So what to do to get more confident? Well, nothing. You don’t need to develop, boost, cultivate, build or work on it in any form or shape because we’re all born with it. It’s like saying oh! There’s no sun so let’s do something to get the clouds out of the way. We all know the sun is right there. Once the clouds part, the sun is visible without us doing anything.
Now, you may say why we don’t feel it? Because of our insecure thinking. When we have insecure thinking, we can’t see what we have. It’s like driving on a foggy day, it’s difficult to see the road ahead. Once the fog clears, you can see it more clearly. In fact, we not only see parts of the streets and roads close to us but also parts that are far and away. Similarly, when our heads clear we come back to our default setting. Yes! Confidence! So what is that insecure thinking? It could be anything, we might have thoughts like I’m not good enough, I don’t have enough experience, he/she is better than me etc. etc.
So what do we do when we have such thoughts? Nothing because thoughts are transient. They come and go automatically like the weather. Sometimes it’s hot. Sometimes, it’s rainy. Sometimes there are hurricanes and typhoons. We don’t do anything to change the weather, everything happens by itself. Once we understand that, then when we feel down, just do the best and go on with whatever you are doing in life and you will be okay because that’s how 7 millions of us are built.
If students, sales people, entrepreneurs, business people or leaders, managers, teachers or a zillion other people in the world understand that we are thinkers and thoughts are transient, can you imagine what a world of difference it will make in our lives, schools and businesses. We don’t need to waste so much time trying to be confident because it’s not a problem, just like smoke from a cigarette that will vanish without us doing anything to get rid of it.
I have experienced it many times on stages when I used to do live theatre, I would be very nervous the first 5 or 10 minutes of my appearance on the stage and after that it’s gone like the bird on our windows, one minute it’s there and the next minute it’s not.
You don’t need to believe me. Experience it for yourself.
Let’s say you are making an important presentation or selling to a client or taking exams or whatever and you aren’t feeling very confident. Don’t do anything about it. Leave it alone and continue doing what you are doing and see if you can check in later and see how you are feeling. Are you still nervous or feeling better or even more confident? You can share your experience at firstname.lastname@example.org or www.hopenwisdom.com, I would love to hear from you.
Btw if you want to know more about this topic or anything on your mind, you are most welcome to contact me at 9751.5525. I’m also offering a few coaching sessions for FREE and you can talk about anything you want like relationships, jobs, goals/dreams, team building, stress etc.
Take care and happy holidays!